My Story: The Tragedy (Part 3)

We headed back to Little Rock for my second surgery a few days later.  This surgery preparation time seemed a bit different than the first preparation.  I am not sure why but the preparation was a bit off schedule.  My surgeon came into the preparation room a little before the surgery to go over what would happen.  I was rolled from the preparation area back to the same surgery room that I was in back in April.  Again a nurse had me slide over from the gurney to the table then I was positioned.  I remember the anesthesiologist preparing me for surgery then my surgeon walked in.  This was my last memory until sometime in August.

My surgery went ok. The surgeon got what he was after on the tumor.  After the surgery my brain hemorrhaged and I ended up having a stroke.  A stroke at 35 years old was not in the plan.  TRAGEDY right?  Because of all this I had more surgeries.  In one of the surgeries part of my left cerebellum was removed and a brain flap was created. TRAGEDY.  I am told (again I have very few memories) that at this time I spent about two weeks in ICU.  Because of all of this I have little to no memories from July and most of August.  Thankfully Christy was off work at her school for the summer and able to be with me during this time.  I know being away from home and having to live in a hotel was difficult for all my family.

I cannot say all the stories of prayer from friends and family that I’ve heard of during this time but the list would be very long.  I know I have heard of a special prayer service our church had for us and many people all over the country have told me they were praying for me.  I have never been a very public person.  However even though I am not a very public person, as I encounter people who I do not know I find they are aware of my story.  Knowing I had support from so many is beyond special to me.  At a time where I was unable to pray I’m thankful so many interceded for me.  There were multiple times during this that doctors did not expect me to survive.  I was on the vent to assist with breathing.  A doctor wanted to put me on the breathing tube but another doctor talked with my family and decided not to at the time.  Together it was decided to wait for a time to see how I would do without being put on the breathing tube for at least a while.  I was able to breathe on my own.  This ended up being a very important decision and a huge part of my recovery.  During this time a feeding tube was placed in my stomach.  As they told me the scar from that looks like another belly button.  I would be on the feeding tube for months.  Not being able to eat food was extremely difficult.  Early on I remember Christy would give me ice chips from a spoon just so I could have anything.  Never have ice chips been so good to me.  The nurses and doctors ended up warning us and not allowing the ice chips anymore because of fear of my ability to swallow.  It was around this time they put me on the feeding tube.   I ended up being on the feeding tube for months as I had difficulty swallowing.  I do not remember much before the feeding tube, just being fed the ice chips and every once in awhile spoons of some juice for something with flavor.  I do remember being taken to surgery to put in the feeding tube but I was in and out of consciousness at this time.  I’m told I fussed a bunch just wanting something.  My family could not come into my room with anything to eat or drink because I’d fuss wanting it.  Although I was not vocal at the time I’m told one of the first things I said was “It’s just water!”  I just did not understand the limits.

Like the prayers themselves I could not list the prayers that were answered.   A lot of them may seem insignificant but I know they were answered prayers and God working on my behalf.  There were many things that may not seem important but I know they were the hand of God at work because they meant so much to me at the time.  These were things that I needed that I was unable to pray for and others did not know I needed to ask on my behalf.  Since I was so unaware of most things at this time I could not realize the need to ask.

During this time there were multiple times the doctors did not think I would survive.  I have heard of a group of friends and family that formed a circle of lawn chairs (that some of them bought at the neighboring Academy Sporting Goods) in the parking lot and prayed together.  I have no doubt that this is the reason I am still here today.  It is the support and prayers from so many that brought me through this time.  I truly believe God has some big plans for my life or else he would have taken me to heaven and rescued me from this struggle.

At a point I believe in August (I had very little time realization) I was moved by ambulance from St. Vincent North (North Little Rock, Arkansas) to their main infirmary hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas.  As far as I know this is my only ambulance ride.  I remember being wheeled into my new room and a large group of nurses getting me ready for the first night.  It was here at this hospital room that I first remember visitors from Monticello even though I know there were others but this was just on my level of consciousness before this time.  During the visit I was mostly unconscious but would come to consciousness a few times.

In August my consciousness started to come back.  I would wake up in the middle of the night and attempt to get out of my hospital bed.  The first time I did this I fell flat on the floor.  I was on the floor but not wanting (or able to) yell for help (I could not get to my call button) so being stubborn I tried to get myself up.  A nurse walked in and quickly found me on the floor (It was the middle of the night) she yelled for help and very quickly there was a large group of nurses in the room getting me back in bed. When I say I was found in the middle of the floor I mean I was quite a ways from my bed scooting around the floor trying to get up and not caught out of bed.  The nurses got me back in the bed fairly quickly.  I was rolled down to x-ray to check for broken bones.  Christy was called to let her know what had happened.  She was staying in a nearby hotel with the kids (Thankfully her mom was staying with them) Christy left the hotel immediately and came to the hospital in the middle of the night.  When they rolled me back from x-ray Christy was waiting in my hospital room.  I am not sure how long the x-ray took but it did not seem long.  The ride down the halls in my bed seemed to take longer than the x-ray itself.  Thankfully nothing broken was found.  I ended up being moved down the hall after this to be more observable.

The nurses put a sensor on my bed after all this that would sound an alert if I got up since my consciousness was returning.  A night or two later I nearly did the same thing.  A nurse came in and found me very restless and was afraid I would try to get up again.  I remember another large group of nurses coming in.  I argued a lot with them because I had not gotten up but they feared by the way I was acting I would try.  (This is how I remember it, the night is possibly different)  I was so restless and argumentative that one of the nurses tied me to the bed so I could not fall and hurt myself.  The nurse that tied me to the bed was a good friend to me and my family during all this and would come early for her shift just to sit with me before her shift began. And even today we receive encouragement from her. I’m so very thankful for everyone that helped us through this time but I’m especially thankful for nurse Rebecca.  Again, I was so argumentative over this entire ordeal.  I have never been an argumentative person but I was out of my mind and a completely different person – at least that is my excuse.  This nurse told me to calm down and rest then she would come remove the restraints.  I have never been an argumentative person but this was the start of a change in my life.  This points to the changes I was experiencing and how out of my mind that I was.  As I say at least two of the nurses were a huge encouragement to my family.  One of them checks on me routinely and the other ended up working in my rehab and was an encouragement to me during all of this.

After this I was not allowed to be in the room on my own.  Christy and the kids at one point had to return to Monticello for school.  My mom would stay in the room with me at night and my dad would come during the day and stay with me so mom could go back to the hotel and rest.  A night time routine my mom and I developed was to listen to some worship music on her phone and pray right before going to bed.  I cannot say how much this did for me.  During this part of my hospital stay I did not use my cell phone so being able to listen to worship music was a huge part of my recovery.  There were certain songs that would make me cry.  I would hear the words, be thankful, and think of Christy and the kids.  Since I was not allowed to see the kids I missed them so much.  Even writing that line I am reminded of the struggle again and have to fight back tears.

I had no movement in my right arm and right leg.  I had good movement on my left side but nothing on my right.  I would have to ask Christy and my parents to move my right hand for me because it would get very restless.  I kept a pillow on my bed just to elevate the right hand and arm with.  They would help me elevate it to the pillow just to help with the restlessness.  I could not lift the arm even a few inches to place it up on a pillow.  As time would pass the arm would slip off the pillow and I would have to ask for help to put it back up on the pillow.  As the feeling started to come back it felt even stranger.  The tingling of feeling coming back at first would radiate from my pinky across my hand towards my thumb.  I believe the feeling coming back was part of the restlessness and just one of those things I did not realize at the time.

---