My Story: Conclusion

It has been a little over one year since this happened.  I know some say my progress has either slowed or stopped but I feel that could not be further from the truth.  Am I different from who I was before this happened?  Yes I am.  Is my knowledge, hobbies, passion and the ones I love the same?  Yes, they are.  Physically do I have struggles, is my voice broken?  Yes, I have physical struggles still and my voice isn’t the same.  Am I still in need of a wheelchair, walker, or cane?  No, I can get around on my own even though there is a bit of a struggle there.  The other day I went for a walk in the woods for the first time.  I did carry my cane on the walk but just to help me move some obstacles and balance as I walked around those.  This was the first time I had been in the woods in over a year and the first time I used my cane in months.  As life continues so does change.   It is good to be back at life as usual with all its changes as I experienced in life before this surgery.  I have started a workout / personal training class a few mornings a week.  My trainer was in physical therapy so it feels good to be back at it with more focus on physical exercise other than therapy.  I believe that by doing this I will soon be back at it even more.  I have no idea what the future holds but know God must have some big plans or I do not believe he would have brought me this far.  A year ago I was completely out of it and less than a year ago I could not get myself out of bed.  Today I am driving, walking, and many other things I do not even recognize that are back.  For me the driving and walking parts were the big tickets.

A few days ago we were on a family road trip that lasted a few hours.  During the trip we did our usual and flipped through the radio stations.  Older country and worship songs hit me as we did this.  As songs came on that really spoke to me I would stop and jot them down so I would not forget.

One of the songs we heard and I jotted down was Live Like You’re Dying by Tim McGraw.  This song is sung from the point of view of someone who had a medical event and was not given much of a chance of survival.   After this diagnosis they lived like they were dying or took every opportunity as another potential to be with their loved ones and did some daring activities.  This song really hit me, I’m not good at living like I’m dying.  I don’t think I’ll go skydiving as was sung in the song!  I feel with this I am now living like I am living.  Time with friends and my family is beyond special to me now and I want more of it.  Yesterday was Sunday and also Mother’s Day.  At church we had some time outside before church started for Mother’s Day where I was able to visit with several friends.   Being able to talk fishing and gardening with them was a treat.  Just being out in the woods for a bit the other morning was special, usually I would just go out in the woods and be thankful when I made it back to the truck (It is hot in Arkansas).  On this outing every step was special to me.  I hope to do more of this soon.

Another song we heard that hit me very hard is a worship song that I do not know how many times I have heard it.  It is No Longer Slaves by Bethel Music.  In the song the chorus says, “I’m no longer a slave to fear, I am a child of God”. As I have told here I placed my faith in the God of the universe when I was ten years old.  It is because of this faith in the creator of the universe and his son’s sacrifice to make me clean that I do not have to fear.  In the end he will take me to heaven for eternity.  In this world struggles will come but I do not have to fear.

A song we heard was an older country song that has been around for a long time.  I know what you’ll think on this one (“Didn’t you just mention faith”) but it has meaning to me.  It is A Country Boy Can Survive by Hank Williams Jr.  When I was growing up I do not know how many times my grandpa would tell me, “A country boy will survive”, we grew up as typical south Arkansas kids where we hunted and fished as much as possible and then we would grow a garden too.  It was in these times that he would say you’re learning how to survive like a country boy just like the song says.  I cannot tell you how many times in my childhood he would mention “A Country Boy Will Survive” but it was a bunch.

A song that hit me during this ride was Another In The Fire.  It is written from the biblical story of Shadrach, Mesach, and Abindigo.  To summarize, these three men were thrown into a fire by a king because they would not do as he commanded all citizens do because the command went against their faith.  When the guards looked in they saw a fourth person and the three men were unharmed.  Daniel 3:25 says, “and the fourth looks like a son of the gods”. The three men were then brought out of the furnace unharmed, the bible says not a hair singed.  I believe the Lord is present with me in this life.  In the good times and bad he is present.  He loves his children and is working everything for good.  This is not saying that everything will have a good outcome here on the earth but as a Christian I know that Jesus’s blood has covered my sins and I have life in Heaven after this one.  

A song we heard on this trip is “One More Day” by Diamond Rio.  This is another older country song (can you tell what kind of music I like?).  Oh what I’d give for one more day with my grandparents.  To go fishing on Lake Ouachita with my dad’s parents.  To have another meal cooked by my grandmothers.  To ride around the woods with my mom’s dad.  As the song says I know what it would do.  Leave me wishing for one more day.  I am thankful for the influence my grandparents had on my life.  I know without their influence I would not be who I am today (as messed up as my life can be).  This song made me think that I have been given another day.  Another day for my wife, kids, parents, sister, friends, and the world.  I better be a better influence.

I have been drafting this for weeks.  As this story unwinds, life is changing a bit but a lot of it has not.  I could try to go back through it and rewrite parts but I know that would be too much trouble.  What I have written are the key parts of my life and I believe my heavenly father has been present through it all.  Since starting to write this I have started a new career.  A new career was never on the list or something I ever dreamed of, I thought I was where I would retire from but God had other plans.  The new job I was given is in the technology I learned years ago and is working with the most kind people that I have ever worked with.  I cannot say enough how special this opportunity has become.

Let me encourage you.  I do not know your tragedy but I believe we all go through trouble.  It is how you face these moments as to how we progress.  Yes, we all have differing levels of tragedy but you’ve either just gone through it or will.  At worship the other Sunday we sang the song “Glorious Day”. In this song is a line “I Ran Out Of That Grave”.  This is talking about Salvation and by God’s grace we are given eternal life.  This song had another meaning for me.  There was a time in the hospital where I was not expected to live.  Our church had a special prayer service and friends prayed for me to survive.  I believe after these prayers I ran out of the grave.  This could have been the most recent time I ran.  I believe I ran.  I ran towards life for another purpose.  What that purpose is I do not know but I believe I have a purpose and so do you.  Again, I do not know what your tragedy is but RUN. Run right back to life as you knew it as much as possible.  If you see areas you need to change then change but get back to some kind of habits.  For me it has been building some new habits into my life of reading and routine exercise.  What kind of habits do you need to add or change?  Please use your tragedy as a turning point.  I know some of us will have a health event where our bodies just can’t, TRY.  At least you can say, “I tried”.  One thing I would encourage everyone to do if you have not is read about Faith and Salvation from Jesus.  It is because of my salvation that I am not scared.  Yes, I want to be here to help our kids grow up and love / support my wife but I know after this I will spend eternity in heaven with my loved ones.  I struggle with frustration but live with the security that my reward is coming in heaven.  This is not the end but just a step in life and I hope that I can be used in this step.  This moment will be used, used how I do not know but I want to be a help and encouragement to others.

“Der Mensh Tract, Un Gott Lacht” “Man Plans and God Laughs” – Yiddish Adage

I believe salvation is as easy as ABC. Admit You’re A Sinner, Believe Jesus Is Lord, Call Upon His Name (Confess).

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:23-24

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. Romans 10:9

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